Clever Quotes and Sayings
Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties.
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
You can’t be late until you show up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay..so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke.
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.
God is clever, but not dishonest.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.
July 15th, 2009 at 8:36 am
You think the religious ones were offensive? hahaha I laughed so good at them hahaha
July 15th, 2009 at 6:50 am
OGM:
Your telling religious people to look at the bible for further instuctions? How about you get over yourself, if you think you can tell people to read the bible in the same post that you tell the religious to “get over themselves”.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
May 20th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Lol’s at “though women are as good as men.”
yea right, and Mexicans aren’t dirty :L lmao
May 10th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Some were funny. except Jesus died on the cross. God didn’t. nice try.
April 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Being sarcastic doesn’t keep you from telling people what you really think of them. Here’s my quote:
Being saracstic lets you tell people how you really feel about them without sounding mean
Gettit?
March 30th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Religious people NEED to get over themselves, if its offensive to them DONT read it. God has bigger issues to deal with than one persons over reaction to the written word….see bible for further instructions
March 24th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
i think the religious ones are very offensive.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:47 pm
these are very clever and enjoyable, though women are as good as men.
January 22nd, 2009 at 6:05 am
cooool beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnssssssssssss
January 10th, 2009 at 7:34 am
wherever there is blackness in ur life, remember mine… thatll shine ur day up.
January 7th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him ride a Jet Ski
December 30th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
To really love a woman
To understand her – you gotta know it deep inside
Hear every thought – see every dream
N’ give her wings – when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman
December 23rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Why get even with someone when you could get odd.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
b4 u critise some1 walk a mile in there shoes that way ur a mile away AND u have there SHOES
November 26th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
if god gives you lemons…. you get a new god
November 26th, 2008 at 2:47 am
A watched pot never boils… turn on the stove
November 25th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
its like he dosent need his name up in lights he just wants 2 be herd wheather its the beat of tha mike he feels so unlike everbody else alone dipite of the fact that some people still think that they know them
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
If I lost both my arms then I\’d probably just shrug it off!