Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Never eat with your mouth full.
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
Sometimes people need what only friends can provide — Absence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it’s hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
Be alert – the world needs more lerts.
Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.
Friends don’t let friends drive naked.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.
With computers, every morning is the dawn of a new error.
To err is human. To really screw things up you need a computer.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Anywhere is walking distance, if you’ve got the time.
People have the right to be stupid, but some abuse that privilege.
Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Always remember, three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
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You couldn’t pour water out of a bucket, if the instructions were written underneath.
It’s easy to stay in shape. Round is a shape.
save a horse…ride a cowboy (thats my friends)
I don’t descriminate… I hate everyone (thats mine, its not great but I like it)
Did you know that 50% of people are below average
Why is santa clause so jolly . . . he knows where all the bad girls live!
Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who dont
mam i maybe drunk, but in the morning ill be sober and youll still be ugly- Winston Churchill
well……….all quotes here are all nice.
They changed my lifestyle.
Thanks !
he who stand on toilet is high on pot
if at first yee do not suceed, dont try parachuting
If at first you don’t succeed….skydiving is not for you .
if you fell into a barrel full of tits you’d come up sucking ya thumb
wow some of these r funny some rn’t that funny though
Avotica… dont belive everything you see on chamrmed
The earlly bird gets the worm, but what happens to the earlly worm?
When life makes your balls itch, scratch ‘em
the more gay people there are in the world the better chance i have of finding a good wife
i ran in 2 my husbond so i put it in revers n ran over him again
If you never try, you will never fail. If you never fail, you will never learn, and if you never learn, you will probably be too stupid not to try.
The early bird gets the worm, the early cat gets the bird, the early dog gets the cat. So I don’t mind when you call me bitch, because the dog get’s the upper hand.
A circle is always eternal, until scissors get involved.
There is no I in team, but there is definately one in win. So I can win, but you can’t.
Science isn’t able to explain all questions, because when you answer one question, two more come from the answer.
Once you know the answer the the question of life, you’ll wish you never asked.
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
I have a problem with this one. If Lady Gediva hadn’t rode arounf on horseback, naked, we would all still probably look like nuns and monks!
The eairly bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
without ME its just aweso
If you want to hoot with the owls, you’ve ggot to soar with the eagles. But what if you dont want to soar with the eagles because you like the owls better?
You really have got to understand the saying to laugh at this one.
All the good things in life will either kill you, make you fat, or get someone pregnant!
drive defensively, buy a tank.
that which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast
Don’t be Superstitious, just a little stitious…