Dane Cook Quotes and Sayings
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don’t think I’m funny.
I was the only kid in the eighth grade wearing Wrangler Jeans… and Jellies! Nice. Nice.
I always wanted to be a snake. Everytime I saw a snake of TV. I’d always say WHY NOT ME?!?!
I don’t laugh out loud at comics a lot.
I was very good at kickball … I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don’t become terrified, you mess back … If somebody calls and was like “have you checked the children?” I’d be like “I killed them!”
I have a new saying, what I see in vegas, I am telling everybody.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
I want the acidy spit!! Why not me? Because you need to get a life that will get you farther than acid, try HEROIN!
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
I don’t like it when you open your mouth and its like a battle of epic proportions going on.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people – how they act and such.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:26 pm
IM A MOLAR WISDON TOOTH, GET THE F*** OUT OF MY GUMS!
June 16th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Rusell Peters is better but Dane Cook is 2nd best
June 16th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
DANE COOK IS SO FFIN HOTT!! N HE’S BY FAR THE FUNNIEST GUY I’VE EVER MET… I LOVE YOU DANE!!
May 24th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
dane cook is like the best comedain in the world and super hott ….i totally love his joke about the bk lounge and the koolaid man
May 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am
britttttttttttany your a total loser if u listen to dane cook i herd hes gay
April 28th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Danee cook is amazing, no matter what anybody says but i kind of feel like a loser for commenting=|
April 11th, 2008 at 3:38 am
hey jus checked out a pic of dane & WOWSER!!! definately a looker
April 8th, 2008 at 8:06 am
i totally love his joke ab out the koolaid man not on here but lmfao it totally rox and dane is totally hott he is the funniest commedian ever!!!!!!!!!!!! oohhhh yyeeaahh
March 31st, 2008 at 5:56 pm
The best damn comedian ever!!! Sooooo funnny, he’s unbelievabley outragesously funny =] makes me laugh no matter wht…
March 25th, 2008 at 3:07 am
theses arent his best quotes here
March 24th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
arty, he is so sexy and funny so get a life you retard!
March 23rd, 2008 at 5:06 pm
this isnt even funny! isnt he supposed to be a COMEDIAN??
February 26th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
dane cook is so i like the one when he says: If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don’t become terrified, you mess back … If somebody calls and was like “have you checked the children?” I’d be like “I killed them
February 19th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
ZOMG
I LOVE DANE LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE…
But i hate snakes like a fat kid hates carrots…
February 15th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
dane cook is my idol and my biggest dream is to meet him and hang out for a day and just joke around with him and really get to know him. i wish he could see the way me and my friends act and joke around and stuff because he’d probably think that im pretty funny too!! i love you dane cook!!!
February 9th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
HE IS THE FUNNIEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
AND HE’S FRICKEN HOT!!
haters keep hating.
cuz you know you arent that funny!
and you wish you were!