I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don’t think I’m funny.
I was the only kid in the eighth grade wearing Wrangler Jeans… and Jellies! Nice. Nice.
I always wanted to be a snake. Everytime I saw a snake of TV. I’d always say WHY NOT ME?!?!
I don’t laugh out loud at comics a lot.
I was very good at kickball … I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school.
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.
If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don’t become terrified, you mess back … If somebody calls and was like “have you checked the children?” I’d be like “I killed them!”
I have a new saying, what I see in vegas, I am telling everybody.
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
I want the acidy spit!! Why not me? Because you need to get a life that will get you farther than acid, try HEROIN!
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
I don’t like it when you open your mouth and its like a battle of epic proportions going on.
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people – how they act and such.
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hey jus checked out a pic of dane & WOWSER!!! definately a looker
i totally love his joke ab out the koolaid man not on here but lmfao it totally rox and dane is totally hott he is the funniest commedian ever!!!!!!!!!!!! oohhhh yyeeaahh
The best damn comedian ever!!! Sooooo funnny, he’s unbelievabley outragesously funny =] makes me laugh no matter wht…
theses arent his best quotes here
arty, he is so sexy and funny so get a life you retard!
this isnt even funny! isnt he supposed to be a COMEDIAN??
dane cook is so i like the one when he says: If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don’t become terrified, you mess back … If somebody calls and was like “have you checked the children?” I’d be like “I killed them
ZOMG
I LOVE DANE LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE…
But i hate snakes like a fat kid hates carrots…
dane cook is my idol and my biggest dream is to meet him and hang out for a day and just joke around with him and really get to know him. i wish he could see the way me and my friends act and joke around and stuff because he’d probably think that im pretty funny too!! i love you dane cook!!!
HE IS THE FUNNIEST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
AND HE’S FRICKEN HOT!!
haters keep hating.
cuz you know you arent that funny!
and you wish you were!