Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot
I am short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
- Woody Allen
Sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen
We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
- George Bush
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
- Burt Bacharach
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S. Truman
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
- Mark Twain
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Gabor
ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce
I either Get what I want or I change my mind.
- Anonymous
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
- Anonymous
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- Gary Busey
Bowling balls are like whores
you pick them up and finger them
throw them into the gutter
and they come back for more..
An apple a day keeps the docter away
but if the doctors cute screw the fruit.
Your so stupid that you got stabbed in a shoot out..
Studying: take the S-T-U off and it’s just dying.
Don’t hit kids seriously they have guns now!
Enjoy here Funny Graphics and Comments
July 20th, 2009 at 3:37 am
never hide under a car… you’ll get exhausted
July 15th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
When life gives you aides, make lemon aides – Sarah Silverman
July 15th, 2009 at 7:54 am
War is just an excuse to kill people for fun
July 13th, 2009 at 2:42 am
Hey you, yeah you, no not you, the other guy, yeah you right there do u like Tacos?
July 11th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Sometimes i go outside and realize i’m still inside
July 7th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
the reason we have stupid peaple r so we dont havt to go first
July 1st, 2009 at 9:24 am
When yu get ur feet stuck in the mud yu need a good friend to help yu out
June 27th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Dosti karo college wali se, pyar karo office wali se, batein karo pados wali se, ankh ladao sali se, love karo dilvali se, AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.
June 26th, 2009 at 9:03 am
when life gives you lemons……you thow them down on the floor,stomp then demand the apple you reqested. >:)
broken hearts and sharderd dream another way to say “im screwed” XD
and my personal lines is:
i have a licences i swear officer, but my dog ate it :O
June 20th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Say this very fast: I am sofa king we Todd did.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
darkness cannot drive away darkness only LIGHT can do that ,hate cannot drive away hate only LOVE can do that .
June 19th, 2009 at 1:04 am
i think that some of those are sick u sick people !! err
June 15th, 2009 at 11:10 am
today has been one hell of a week!
June 9th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Fat Chicks Are Like Mopeds…There Fun To Ride Until Your Friends See You Riding Them
June 5th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:21 am
If you can read this, I’ve lost my boat.