Funny Quotes
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on [...]
May 12th, 2008 at 2:12 am
Is that your face or has your ass been misplaced
May 12th, 2008 at 2:11 am
i’m like a parking ticket i have FINE written all over me!!
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
ITS NOT RAPE IF YOU YELL SURPRISE!!
April 20th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I LUV BRADEN ( if u read this braden it wasnt me it was my cat)
April 13th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
4 my next trick i will need a c*ndom and a volunteer
shit happens… bt mostly 2 me so dont worry
98% of teens r bringin sexy back… but im the 2% that sexy neva left!
YOUR MUM! oohh would u like some ice 4 that burn?
lol jst thought id share em wiv ya
April 8th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
The ground broke my fall…
My imaginary friend says you have issues
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
I’m not drunk, i’m just naturally clumsy, stupid, and bad at driving
when everythings coming your way, your in the wrong f*cking lane!
Help i’ve fallen and I can’t…. hey! NICE carpet!
For sale: parchute, only used once, never opened, small stain
Evening news is where they say “Good Evening” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years
telling them to sit down and shut-up.
April 7th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
ur one bout rape is wrong….
its onli rape for the first 5 minutes coz after that u start to enjoy it!!!!!!!!!
April 5th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Life is short, but you d*ck is shorter
April 5th, 2008 at 11:40 am
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.
It’s not r*pe! It’s just an unexpected s*x you didn’t know you wanted. XD
April 4th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Im a we todd sofa king we todded
READ OUT LOUD FAST
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
she says broccoli
he says carrot
she says lettuce
i say CUMBERCUBE!
April 1st, 2008 at 9:42 am
Some ppl say the glass is half empty, some say its half full. I just wanna know who the F**K has been drinking my beer
WAIT A MIN MAN, i didnt f**k your girlfriend, she was ontop
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, check if there r alot of pictures
March 31st, 2008 at 12:41 pm
dont tell me the sky’s the limit when theres footprints on t he moon.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:40 pm
one tequila
two tequila
three tequila
floor.
March 30th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
March 29th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
dnt hate me cause am fit hate me cause i shaged your boy friend
March 26th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
If love was blind, how come it only finds the pretty ones?
March 25th, 2008 at 2:31 am
I lay in bed one night staring at the stars when i sudden thought occured to me..
Where the f**k is the ceiling?!
March 24th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say “are you gonna drink that?”
Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!
I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!
Ｌifes not short its the longest bloody ｔｈing ｙｏｕll ever do!!!!
I would stop eating chocolate.. but I’m not a quitter!
March 22nd, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Don’t drink water, fish have S*X in it.