Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on [...]
June 5th, 2009 at 1:20 am
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
You know you’re grown up when Your houseplants are alive, and you can\’t smoke any of them.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Never hold your farts in cos hot air rises and thats where $hitty ideas come from
May 20th, 2009 at 2:31 am
Drink sensabley
dont spill any!!
May 9th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
sarcasm: the body’s natural defense against stupid.
I’d rather be pi$sed off than be pi$sed on.
well-behaved women rarely make history
date a man so you dont get played like a b!tch
im not crazy; my reality is just different from yours
gun control is being able to hit your target
ive got a.d.d and magic markers. oh the thrills i will have.
you notice how the people that tell you to calm down are the ones that got you mad in the first place.
im not an alchoholic, im a drunk. (alcoholics go to meetings)
–all anonymous
May 4th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Love is like a freaking roller-coaster,
theres ups and downs and makes you wanna puke(:
April 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Fat momma jks —only wrks if the person gets it and isnt serious
Your mommas so fat she got different currency in each pocket
When you mama goes in the sea all thwe wails start sining we are family
When your mama goes to the beach all the people start calling green peace caus there a beached whale.
hope u thot they were funny
April 28th, 2009 at 2:03 am
dont drink and drive u,
might spill ur beer.
ur a great friend but if the zombies chase us im tripping u.LOL
people say i have a.d.d
thats just craz…..HEY LOOK A CHICKEN!
WARNING!
protected by more people than u want to pi$s off
im sarcastic wats ur superpower?
everything happens for a reason, except for clowns i mean seriously wat the hell.
how to have fun at wal-mart. tip #3
make a trail of tomatoe juice leading to the womans restrooms
lol just wanted to share them:)
April 26th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
My cows dead I don’t need your bull
I’m happily married she’s happy I’m married
Hope you like em I’m only 13 but these r funny
Have fun:p
April 25th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
IM MAKING THESE UP ON THE SPOT; !
if you were fake tan’ id be a black
if willys tasted like galexy it would be BL*W JOBS ON ME !
if you were beanes id be farting all day
if i was fat youd be one of my rolls ;D
if you were a fisherman i’d be your bait;
yeahhh we know there s*xyy
<3
no newed to thank us
April 18th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
these r some real retarded “funny sayings”…my great grandpa says funnier stuff.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:21 am
you laugh because im different, i laugh because i just farted!
a forward txt i got:
in 2010 the govt. will start killing all mentally retarded ppl, i started crying when i thought of you, run my little retard friend, save yourself!
April 11th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
I am not random. I just have many thoughts….
April 11th, 2009 at 3:48 am
Here are some more funny sayings:
Come to the dark side, we have cookies,
A friend comforts you when your dumped but a best friend goes up to the guy and says “It’s
because your gay isn’t it?”
Whoever said anything is possible obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.
Be optomistic, eventually all the people you hate are going to die =)
If your heart really as broken, you’d be dead so shut up,
Don’t follow in my footsteps, i run into walls,
You can’t buy happieness but you can buy ice-cream and thats close enough,
Life is random, so am i,
I didn’t loose my mind, i just sold it to ebay,
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems,
Please can i borrow your pen, i need to stab you in the eye
i hope theese put a smile on your face =)
April 7th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
they told your momma it was chilly outside
And she went inside and got a bowl
ok not funny unless you have the right person say it…
April 5th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
how did helen kelers parents punish her?…………..they rearranged her room.
how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?………..you wave to her.
March 31st, 2009 at 3:26 pm
who ever said anythign is possible never tried to put in contacts with no hands. I WULD KNOW
March 30th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
you know…all of these sayings…really are not funny.
well dispite the bowling ball and whore one. I laughed at that. but only that.
March 25th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
your not drunk if u can lie on the floor without falling over.
if your doctor tells you to watch you drinkin find a bar with a mirror in it.
i dont trust camels………. and anyone else who can go a week without drinking
every one belives in something… i belive ill have another drink!!
March 18th, 2009 at 10:31 am
“Boards don’t hit back”
Bruce Lee